Thank you to Law360 Pulse for sharing this insightful piece. Below is an installment from their Expert Analysis series, where legal professionals discuss mental health and well-being.
In this edition, Sarah Kovit Hanna, a lawyer and Executive Director at The Positivity Spectrum, reflects on balancing her career with the demands of supporting her son, who was diagnosed with autism. She also explores how the legal industry can better support caregivers of family members with special needs.
“Being a support-needs parent is hard. Being a support-needs parent and working a demanding job is harder. By sharing my experience, I hope to normalize the needs of caretakers in corporate America.”
— Sarah Kovit Hanna
Talking Mental Health: Working As A Mom Of An Autistic Son By Sarah Kovit Hanna (November 4, 2024)
Attorneys and other legal professionals share insights on mental health and well-being in this Law360 Pulse Expert Analysis series. If you’d like to write about these issues, please reach out to expertanalysis@law360.com.
In this installment, in-house attorney Sarah Kovit Hanna discusses how she balances the demands of her job and the support needs of her son, who was diagnosed with autism, and she reflects on how the legal industry can better support caretakers of family members who have special needs.
Navigating My Son’s Diagnosis as a Single Mom
When my son was diagnosed with autism at 4.5 years old, everything changed. Prior to the diagnosis, I was a single mom with a child at risk of being kicked out of the day care I desperately needed in order to be able to work. It was nerve-wracking and embarrassing waiting for the call I knew I would get at least once a week to pick up my child.
I was lucky to have family nearby to help me in case of emergencies, but when everything rests on your shoulders, there is a different kind of pressure to provide, excel and not fail.
Once we got the diagnosis, I had a path forward — a name for what we were experiencing, research that I could do. The stress changed from not knowing what to do with my son to the stress of trying to get him into all of the therapies that were recommended and afford the costly out-of-pocket copays for the therapies, as well as continuing to work toward my personal professional goal of being a corporate general counsel.
In order to balance everything, I would work out of my car or in a booth at Panera Bread so my son could get to therapy several towns over. After he went to sleep, I would work again for a few hours. It was the only way to get everything done well.
Not sleeping as much as I needed, running from appointment to appointment for therapy and doctors’ appointments for co-occuring conditions to autism, and not having time to exercise or see friends took a serious toll on my mental health. I was in survival mode all day, every day, fighting to get my son — who is now almost 7 years old — everything he needed by sacrificing myself.
How This Experience and Its Stressors Affected My Law Practice and Career Trajectory
Because I am a single mom of a child with support needs, I am a better manager in every sense of the word.
As a people manager, I am more understanding and empathetic of situations that pop up, child care troubles and life stress. I go to great lengths to meet my employees where they are and accommodate their personal lives, as long as the work is ultimately completed.
As a manager of my time, I have become a master prioritizer. Every moment of the day is maximized, from getting workouts in on my under-desk elliptical during conference calls, to carving out dedicated time to spend with my son, to now having dedicated self-care days off.
With respect to my practice of law, I had to have some hard conversations with myself about whether I could handle everything needed to perform at a high level in a highdemand job while being the parent my child needed me to be.
I realized how important practicing law was to me. Not only is it a part of my identity, but also, I genuinely love working in the corporate legal environment and collaborating with internal stakeholders to further the business. And I need that fulfillment and intellectual challenge.
That being said, I have realized that, at least for me, law doesn’t have to be practiced at a certain hour of the day or in a fancy office. I can work from home, on my schedule and my child’s schedule, and be available if I’m needed at the school or for an appointment, but also work on rewarding complex legal issues.
How I Cope With These Stressors
I cope by being open about it. I tell everyone I work with, while interviewing and as I’m getting to know them, that I am a single parent of an autistic child. It allows me to show up to work as my authentic self. And I have been blessed to find employers who not only work with me, but also go the extra mile to think about caregivers.
My current employer has an employee resource group for people with disabilities, as well as their caretakers, that I am involved in. These kinds of resource groups look at ways to support employees with disabilities, as well as caregivers and family members who are dealing with the complexities that a disability can bring to one’s life.
Further, after getting my son into all of the programs and therapies he needed and losing sight of my self-care, I made a promise to myself to dedicate time each day, and money each month, to doing something just for myself. Whether it is knitting, a massage, a workout or a phone call with a friend, knowing that I’ve carved something out for myself helps keep me going.
How the Legal Industry Can Better Support Caretakers of Family Members With Special Needs
I think it starts on the manager level. When someone listens and appreciates your unique situation and still hires you and champions you, anything is possible.
Of course, this comes with the requirement that the employee excel in their work, as there is a perception that needing accommodations for caretaking or being a single parent will make one less available to do their job.
When everyone communicates honestly and trusts one another, it lays the foundation for advancement in our profession.
It is also important that those in situations like mine continue to be vulnerable and share publicly that it can be done. Some days it is complicated, stressful and messy, but when employees ask for concrete accommodations and employers grant them, we make a more life-friendly work environment.
Sarah Kovit Hanna is senior corporate counsel at Assurant Inc. She is also the executive director at The Positivity Spectrum.
The opinions expressed are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of their employer, its clients, or Portfolio Media Inc., or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.